My Deepest Fear

*Disclaimer* NOT A POEM. I initially set out to write my first poem but it waved, said Tata bye bye, and turned off course so I think it’s a quasi-poem now. No rhyme scheme, no meter, no order, no structure; Nothing. Just what I felt at that moment :p

I visit websites, I ask friends
I draw endless doodles with my pen
Thinking…

What exactly to write in a poem?
Your first achievement? Your many regrets?
Happiness? Sadness?
What the hell should you write in a poem?

Suddenly shining through the hazy mist,
I get it. Suffice it will I think, my way,
Penning yourself is the way to go about it.

So as I sit down and delve into myself,
The universe comes to a standstill around me,
As I contemplate about me.

No doing. It has to ask that doesn’t it?
I can’t stop it. My brain comes up with that question,
That integral question which I just can’t answer…

Who am I?
Siddharth? Easy enough. But No,
That’s not the answer.
I know for certain, I’m not the Siddharth of old.

As I sift through the memories
Turning the pages of my life,
I find many Siddharths
Some grinning, some laughing,
Some crying, some regretting…
Happy. Depressed. Normal. Maniacal.

Is this who I am?

No…
As I try to search for me; the real Me,
I grow confused.
All I can see,
All I can discern through the growing chasm,
Is a shadow… A many personalitied hybrid of me.
Getting fainter by the minute…

I catch hold of myself; to no avail,
He is slowly disappearing.

I now read through what I’ve written.
A poem? God, definitely not a poem.
What I’ve written is my deepest fear…
My primal unwavering fear
Of who I’ll turn out to be…

I set out in the beginning to pen who I am.
I know now that I’ve failed.
I don’t know. I just can’t explain myself…

Now, as I set down my pen, my eyes moist,
All I can do is hope.
Hope that I don’t wander too far away from my path.
Hope that I improve and never degrade.
Hope that I remain Siddharth…

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The Social Animal

Wonderful confession by a girl in church and amazing reply she got.

 

The Girl:

I’m in love with a boy who lives far away from me. I live in India and he lives in USA.

We met on a marriage website, shaadi.com to be precise

Became friends on FB
Had long chats on Whatsapp
Proposed to each other on Skype
Currently having 2 months of relationship through Viber

I need your blessings and good wish, Oh God

Guy besides her said:

Now get married on twitter
Have fun on tango
Buy your kids from ebay
Send them through G+
And if you are fed up with your husband or kids sell them through OLX.

Don’t forget; there is always secondshaadi.com 😀

 

This was a post which I saw long ago. On Facebook. Yep, I’m addicted to it too. However this did set me thinking. 

All the people around us; our teachers, parents and even friends seem rooted on the fact that social networking and other websites are ‘bad’ for us. They constantly castigate us and tell us that our brains will become rotten and you will ‘Zeeeeero marksu’ and ‘No Admission in 11th’ and such things if we access these websites. And Facebook, don’t get me started on it.

 The new enemy for parents. The monster which rears it’s ugly head when the parents are not scrutinising their wards. The monster which will engulf their progenies and never let them go unless the WiFi modem is smashed to smithereens.

And the children? Wifi Modem odanja pogattum. I’ll go to my friend’s place or a browsing centre.

This is the new drama unfolding in almost every household in urban India. The locking of horns between the parents and their kids over social networking sites.

 However, my father, about a year ago, asserted to other parents that these social networking websites ARE the way unfolding the future. That these websites ARE the new form of communication. That denying the younger generation this would be akin to taking away their voice.

I was like ‘Whoa. Bam. Really?  Wow.’ Just mono-syllables.

 

However, thinking about it I actually found it to be true.

Humans ARE nothing, I repeat NOTHING but Social animals.

They talk. Laugh. Share.

This world is an interconnected web of souls; each soul craving the company of others.

And social networking websites provide a forum for this.

 

As long as we don’t buy babies through eBay and bring it up with G+,

This is the way of the future.